Nature vs. Nurture- when getting to really know your parents reveals a lot about you

In this post, I will do something I seldom do… let you in.

My motto is to live with as few regrets as possible when it comes to things I can control. I have always been independent, stubborn, adventurous and “contrarian” in nature. I believe that most things in life happen at the right time for a reason, mistakes areĀ  character building blocks and that my life and my happiness are mostly driven by my will to drive it forward. I believe in epic debates and challenging the status quo just for the sake of mental stimulation. I am deeply flawed, but I am accepting. I am hard to love because I hate being vulnerable, but I love wholeheartedly because I am not afraid of getting hurt.

So now that you know all about me…it should be no surprise that I left home in my mid-teens to discover the world and follow my dreams. In the decade and a half since then, I have been self-reliant and a learner.

Because I left home in my forming years and have lived thousands of miles apart from most of my family, had very different experiences than most of my friends, let alone my parents, I believed that Nurture trumped Nature.The idea that DNA alone is responsible for a person’s way of thinking, feeling and acting was preposterous to me. After all, I can link a certain trait in my personality to a specific experience in my childhood and I was deeply influenced by non-relatives at different times in the past three decades.

As it often happens in life, I was fortunate to have an event challenge my preconceived notion of self. I had a chance to spend an extended period of time with each of my parents separately and re-discover them and unexpectedly, re-discovered myself.

It’s funny that I never thought of my parents as people that had a life both before and after my birth or that were anyone but my parents. They had a childhood, young adulthood, dreams, fears, experiences. Sure, growing up they told me stories here and there, but can children really comprehend the breadcrumbs to a person’s intricate path in life? Can they really fill in the blanks to unspoken words?

I couldn’t.

My parents often forgot themselves in the pursuit of raising their children, and I, selfishly, in pursuit of my living my life, forgot to look at them and follow the breadcrumbs, to fill in the blanks…

I was blessed with the opportunity to really get to know my parents as adults in the past few months and realized that many things in my personality are as heavily influenced by Nurture as well as Nature.

Oh! And I have also found one more thing to blame my parents for: my natural awesomeness! =)

Thanks Mom and Dad! I love you to the stars and back!

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