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Thinking of having a baby over 35 years old or pregnant at 40? Don’t focus on the risks and downsides, here are 10 advantages of being an older mom.
There are a lot of reasons women are delaying motherhood and find themselves pregnant at 40.
Life decisions or problems with infertility lead women to choose to delay or have to wait until later in life to become pregnant. And of course, there are those unexpected surprises some women might find themselves having even after they thought their families were complete.
No matter what your situation is, one thing is clear, you are not alone. There are more and more women delaying motherhood and it is becoming more common nowadays with celebrities and regular women posting on social media about their pregnancy journeys in their 40s.
In my case, I’d always planned to wait until my 30s to have kids. I wanted to build a career and enjoy life in my 20s and 30s without the responsibilities of raising a family.
In my mid 30s, I conceived naturally and fairly easily and welcomed my first child. I thought I would welcome another one in another 1-2 years, being done by the time I was 40.
Unfortunately, I suffered a missed miscarriage and had several health issues after my son was born.
At 39, my husband and I decided to give it another go at it. It was probably our “last try.”
Wouldn’t you know it? We got pregnant naturally, in less time than we thought (2 months) and are now expecting another boy.
So I wanted to share with you today 10 advantages to being pregnant at 40, in case you are second guessing that decision or are having some doubts about taking that chance.
10 Advantages of Having a Baby at 40
1 | Financial security
By 40, most women find themselves a lot more financially secure than in their early 20s.
Paying the bills, saving for life goals, and balancing a budget are automatic actions by now, which means adding a baby to the family will not drain your resources. You are able to afford things without compromising on quality or other parts of your life.
You might even be in a position to reduce your hours at work or quit your job to stay home with your child if you wish to do so, something that is somewhat of a luxury for a lot of moms in their 20s.
And you most likely won’t need to compromise your retirement savings to buy the necessities, since you’ve had about two decades to save for your future first.
In addition, children of older, more financially secure parents have more access to extra-curricular activities that might lead to better job/life opportunities for them as adults. Some examples are: elite sport teams, better schools, specialized summer camps (coding, robotics, second-language lessons), field trips and enrichment experiences like museums or trips that expose them to other cultures, languages or ideas.
2 | Life experiences
There are many advantages of having kids at an earlier age, but one thing that I often hear from moms that had kids in their 20s is that they missed out on experiences that are appropriate to have at that age.
In your 20s, it’s socially acceptable to do certain things like partying, staying out late, backpacking and sacrificing future goals for the here and now.
Those types of experience, although not necessary to have a full life, are somewhat frowned upon when you are in your 40s and have a family.
So if you are pregnant in your 40s, the biggest advantage of all is you didn’t have to delay living life while YOU were young. You partied, travelled, splurged on shiny things, enjoyed fine dining and spa days without having to compromise the college fund. That my friend, it’s priceless!
3 | Time and patience
By the time you are 40, most of your friends are married and have kids. You have a routine and have a pretty good support system in place.
If you work, you have probably earned a few perks at work, like more vacation time and a better work/life balance. Which means, you have more time to dedicate to motherhood and more patience with others.
Studies show that more parent involvement leads to better grades for kids in school and more success in life, so that is a win-win of late motherhood.
4 | Confidence and less worry
A lot of women in their 20s are still trying to figure out who they are. Unfortunately that leads them to care about other people’s opinions too much or to take things too personally. I know I did.
By 40, you have shed that skin and got rid of the baggage of societal pressure you grew up with. Things don’t bother you as they used to and you are pretty comfortable in your own skin.
People also tend to not give as many “unsolicited advice” to women in their 40s. And if they do, they will most likely get just “as nice” of a comeback. After all, we’ve had more practice fine tuning our sarcasm and we’ve gotten pretty good at speaking our minds.
Being more confident in yourself and your own life choices make it for a more enjoyable pregnancy, but also makes it better for your child, who will hopefully mirror your confidence in how they approach life.
5 | Prioritization
In my 20s, I was a yes woman. I said yes to every invitation, every project, every friendship even if they made me miserable. As a result, I was always on the go and stretched thin.
Now, I say no to everything that doesn’t make me happy or benefit my family. Some might call this being selfish. I call it prioritization and I don’t apologize for it.
Serving in a committee, volunteering to do this or that, fundraising, dealing with other people’s drama- no thank you! My time is way more valuable and better spent with those I love and cherish.
And if you haven’t reached that point yet, what better legitimate excuse to get away from those requests than “I have young children at home”?
6 | Stable relationship
Unless you delayed motherhood because there wasn’t anyone special in your life, then hopefully you are in a stable relationship.
We were married for 11 years before we decided to have our first child. People always assume we had fertility problems when they hear that, but the truth is it was a conscious choice.
Some people marry in order to start a family. We got married, because we enjoyed being together. And we took advantage of the financial and social freedom of not having a family to travel every chance we got, to save for early retirement, to sleep in every weekend and to enjoy the finer things in life while we weren’t ready for kids.
In those 11 years, the hardest year of our marriage was the 12th – the year after we welcomed our son to the world.
Having children puts a lot of stress on couples and if you are not in a stable relationship, it tends to crack. Those sleepless nights are brutal! And before couples can see the light at the end of the tunnel, most call it quits.
The huge bonus of being pregnant at 40 and being in a stable relationship is that couples that conceive at this age know each other very well, have already been through some tough times and are in it for the long haul no matter the difficulties.
7 | More knowledge and better advocacy
At 40, you know what you want and don’t want and what you like and don’t like. You also know when your body is working like it should and when it’s not and what type of care you should be getting for the money you are paying.
Which means you will get the care you want and won’t be pushed around both during pregnancy and postpartum.
During my first pregnancy, I changed my doctor at 20 weeks pregnant, because I didn’t feel I was getting the care I should. And I ended up with a wonderful new doctor who delivered my son and whose bedside manner made all the difference during my miscarriage.
There have been countless times in the last decade that I’ve had to listen to my body and advocate for my own care, requesting and even demanding certain procedures or tests.
And I am so glad I did, because I believe wholeheartedly that it made a world of difference on the outcome of being able to get pregnant and keep this pregnancy at 40.
If you are not yet pregnant and wondering if you can get pregnant at 40, and how easy it will be, don’t let the statistics scare you. The truth is there are women in their 20s who suffer from infertility and there are women over 40 who get pregnant without even trying.
The advantages of having older ovaries are that your cycles are more predictable and you are not trying to learn what ovulation looks like. You can also request hormone and fertility tests without having to fight with your doctor or explain why you think you need it. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend that if you are thinking of getting pregnant and are over 40, that you have a pre-conception visit with your doctor and ask for these tests to be run to better prepare for any challenges you might face.
And one last tip, buy a pack of ovulation tests to ensure you are trying to conceive at the most optimal time and hopefully get pregnant faster.
8 | Better care
By far, when it comes to the pregnancy itself, the best thing about being pregnant at 40 is that you will get much better care than younger women.
At 40, you are considered of “advanced maternal age” and “high-risk”, which means you could have more complications, but also that you will receive more frequent check-ups and better care.
You will get more ultrasounds and more time with your practitioner. You might even get a perinatologist, which specializes in high-risk pregnancies, and a special nurse for your child during delivery.
One of the perks of “geriatric pregnancy” is that you get a more detailed anatomy ultrasound at 20 weeks with the latest technology and week-to-week monitoring for the baby’s health, which makes all the difference in the world when you are dealing with so much negative information about being pregnant at 40.
9 | Less pressure to “bounce back”
Let’s face it that by 40 years old, your body has already started showing the effects of gravity and aging. And this doesn’t mean you’ve let yourself go, but that you don’t loose weight as fast as you used to or look amazing when you roll out of bed after a late night.
Which means, no one is expecting you to “bounce back” from pregnancy in 6 weeks, and that includes the person that matters the most when it comes to body image – YOURSELF.
When you get stretch marks, gain the extra pounds or feel like your breasts sagged a little more after pregnancy, you won’t feel horrible for not being able to wear the latest fashion trends or look as good as your friends during a girl’s night out.
10 | Emotionally mature and more grateful
Emotional maturity is super important when it comes to having and raising a child. At 40, you have had a lot more time to get to know yourself, your partner and learn about human nature and needs – what makes people tick, what motivates them.
You also have learned to communicate more clearly and listen more actively, which will make you a better parent.
You will sweat less the little things and focus more on things that matter.
Because of your age, you will take in the moments more acutely, because you are aware of how time is fleeting.
And you will feel more grateful for the miracle of childbearing, childbirth and child raising. You might even be more flexible and more adaptable for everything pregnancy and motherhood in your 40s will throw at you.
Your birth didn’t go as plan, no big deal. Couldn’t breastfeed, formula will work just fine. Older moms roll with the punches a lot easier, because we are just really glad to have the opportunity to be moms and we are not taking anything for granted.
These are just some of the advantages of being an older mom. New studies are being published every year on additional benefits of delaying motherhood, such as longer life span and less cognitive decline for women who have children later in life.
There are also benefits for children born of older parents that relate to health, cognitive abilities and better opportunities.
No matter your reason for being pregnant or to consider conceiving at 40 and beyond, just know that it is possible, is not always harder or riskier and that there are many advantages of being an older mom.
If you enjoyed this post you might like these other parenting post:
- Breastfeeding Tips and Tricks
- How to Save Money During Pregnancy
- 4 Classes You Should Take as A New Parent
- 10 Postpartum Care Essentials
- Favorite Baby Products 0-3 Months
- Favorite Books for Babies
- 1st Trimester Pregnancy Must Have for New Moms
- I Had a Missed Miscarriage
This website contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate and participant in other programs, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases.
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